I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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