Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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