YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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