I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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