At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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