I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
