I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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