I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
