She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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