No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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