My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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