just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
