in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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