seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
