Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
did i walk over a car last night?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
