Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
