just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
