there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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