just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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