You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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