Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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