Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Vodka?
Forever.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize