Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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