Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize