Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
