your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize