so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
