Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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