Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize