He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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