He uses pillows to masturbate.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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