I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
