They should really pass out barf bags in church
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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