Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
