used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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