brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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