Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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