he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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