Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think people are normalizing furries
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
