They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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