so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
