ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
