she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
