You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
