And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
