dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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