end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
