if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
