he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
