May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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