from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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