But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
