someone owes me an orgasm
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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