he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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