Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize