Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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