he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dick very happy bro
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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